Highly Visible & A Little Misunderstood

I used to be one of those folks that needed my calendar to be full. I had a lot of pride in how full my calendar was. If there was any space on it, I felt like I was slacking off or missing out. The idea of ‘rest’ was foreign to me, plus I am doing the things I enjoy and love, right? What I didn’t realize, while I was burning the candle on both ends, was that even the things that you enjoy at first can just be coping mechanisms.
By having a full calendar, all I was doing was trying to outwork my trauma. Which is always a losing battle. In all honesty, it took an entire pandemic for me to sit my butt down and learn the difference between peace and boredom (Still trying to figure this one out, tbh). But, I have found peace and boredom can actually go hand in hand.
My guest this week, Cristin Dent, shared her own journey with learning the difference between peace and boredom and why she will do whatever it takes to protect her boundaries. We also talk about what “outworking your trauma” can look like and why forgiveness doesn’t give access.
 
CLICK TO TAKE THE PODCAST SURVEY
 
Stay in Touch with:
↳ Check out Cristin’s website
↳ Email Cristin 📧
↳ Cristin’s Youtube 📺
 
Ways to support the show:
   👉🏾  Have you joined the Real Fam yet?
   👉🏾  Buy me Ko-fi ☕️
   👉🏾  Follow us on IG @RTWDPodcast
 
Sources for the show:
Betterhelp.com
Therapyforblackgirls.com
Talkspace.com
 
Production & Contact Details:
Producer: Jonathan Dumas (@rtwdpodcast)
Production help: Lindsay Dumas (@lindsaymariedumas)
Additional editing support: (Bijoy Ahmed)
Music: Tony Deras (@tonesterderas)
Show art: Lia Osley (@liabedrawing)
Email: RTWDPodcast@gmail.com

I recently read an article from MotherJones.com on how the mainstream movement against gender-based violence fails Black workers and survivors. In it, it recounts the experiences of Valeriana Chikoti Bandua Estes (She/Her) and Darin Dorsey at the Washington Coalition of Sexual Assault Programs (WCSAP). One of the first lines of the piece caught my immediate attention:
“What started as a handful of alienating comments, became a pattern of anti-Black discrimination from colleagues and others in the movement, including WCSAP’s government funders” (Pauly, 2022).
I found myself activated by the experiences I was reading. Not simply because of the relatableness of what Valeriana and Darin shared in the article, but how spaces specifically established to support, advocate for, and center the experiences of historically marginalized communities continue to perpetuate systems, processes, and behaviors that were/are anti-Black (I had a great conversation with Brannon Andrews entitled, Ep. 14 - I am Who I am (Ep. 15 (Part 2), where we talk about anti-Blackness; I also chatted with Melany Del Carpio about colorism in Black and Brown communities in Ep. 24 - I Think We Are Gonna Need to Unpack That). 
Valeriana and Darin joined me this week on RTWD, where we talked about their work journeys, particularly their experiences working at the Washington Coalition of Sexual Assault Programs, the investigative piece written on them and so many others, and the prevalence of anti-Blackness that occurs within social justice-oriented organizations. 
Our conversation was vulnerable, candid, and in some ways liberating (for me, at least). It reminded me of a quote by the incredible Lutze Segu aka the Social Justice Doula. Who said:  
“How can you be my ally when you're avoiding your whiteness. If you are not clear about your context, how are you gonna be clear on how to disrupt, dismantle, and divest from white supremacy? [So], until you get your identity straight. You are nobody’s nothing other than a problematic person who at any moment is going to cause serious harm”
 
CLICK TO TAKE THE PODCAST SURVEY
 
Stay in Touch with:
↳ Valeriana on LinkedIn
↳ Darin on LinkedIn
↳ Check out Necessaryinterruptionsllc.com
↳ Check out Rootingmovement.org
Ways to support the show:
   👉🏾  Have you joined the Real Fam yet?
   👉🏾  Buy me Ko-fi ☕️
   👉🏾  Follow us on IG @RTWDPodcast
Folx, events & Orgs mentioned in the episode:
Motherjones.com
Sources for the show:
How the Mainstream Movement Against Gender-Based Violence Fails Black Workers & Survivors
Protect the Girl Child | Valeriana Chikoti-Bandua
Production & Contact Details:
Producer: Jonathan Dumas (@rtwdpodcast)
Production help: Lindsay Dumas (@lindsaymariedumas)
Additional editing support: (Bijoy Ahmed)
Music: Tony Deras (@tonesterderas)
Show art: Lia Osley (@liabedrawing)
Email: RTWDPodcast@gmail.com

I recently read an article from MotherJones.com on how the mainstream movement against gender-based violence fails Black workers and survivors. In it, it recounts the experiences of Valeriana Chikoti Bandua Estes (She/Her) and Darin Dorsey at the Washington Coalition of Sexual Assault Programs (WCSAP). One of the first lines of the piece caught my immediate attention:
“What started as a handful of alienating comments, became a pattern of anti-Black discrimination from colleagues and others in the movement, including WCSAP’s government funders” (Pauly, 2022).
I found myself activated by the experiences I was reading. Not simply because of the relatableness of what Valeriana and Darin shared in the article, but how spaces specifically established to support, advocate for, and center the experiences of historically marginalized communities continue to perpetuate systems, processes, and behaviors that were/are anti-Black (I had a great conversation with Brannon Andrews entitled, Ep. 14 - I am Who I am (Ep. 15 (Part 2), where we talk about anti-Blackness; I also chatted with Melany Del Carpio about colorism in Black and Brown communities in Ep. 24 - I Think We Are Gonna Need to Unpack That). 
Valeriana and Darin joined me this week on RTWD, where we talked about their work journeys, particularly their experiences working at the Washington Coalition of Sexual Assault Programs, the investigative piece written on them and so many others, and the prevalence of anti-Blackness that occurs within social justice-oriented organizations. 
Our conversation was vulnerable, candid, and in some ways liberating (for me, at least). It reminded me of a quote by the incredible Lutze Segu aka the Social Justice Doula. Who said:  
“How can you be my ally when you're avoiding your whiteness. If you are not clear about your context, how are you gonna be clear on how to disrupt, dismantle, and divest from white supremacy? [So], until you get your identity straight. You are nobody’s nothing other than a problematic person who at any moment is going to cause serious harm”
CLICK TO TAKE THE PODCAST SURVEY
Stay in Touch with:
↳ Valeriana on LinkedIn
↳ Darin on LinkedIn
↳ Check out Necessaryinterruptionsllc.com
↳ Check out Rootingmovement.org
 
Ways to support the show:
   👉🏾  Have you joined the Real Fam yet?
   👉🏾  Buy me Ko-fi ☕️
   👉🏾  Follow us on IG @RTWDPodcast
 
Folx, events & Orgs mentioned in the episode:
Motherjones.com
Sources for the show:
How the Mainstream Movement Against Gender-Based Violence Fails Black Workers & Survivors
Protect the Girl Child | Valeriana Chikoti-Bandua
Production & Contact Details:
Producer: Jonathan Dumas (@rtwdpodcast)
Production help: Lindsay Dumas (@lindsaymariedumas)
Additional editing support: (Bijoy Ahmed)
Music: Tony Deras (@tonesterderas)
Show art: Lia Osley (@liabedrawing)
Email: RTWDPodcast@gmail.com

A few years ago, I read a book about emotional intimacy. One part of the author’s story has stuck with me ever since and it was this idea about trauma and how we can allow it to be the guiding force in our lives. It was then that I realized how oftentimes, my 13-year-old traumatized self was making every major life decision for my 25-year-old self. 
 
How unfair for 13-year-old, Jonathan to be placed in a position to try and figure out roommate situations, find a good job, and be a good partner when all he really wanted was to trust that he was going to be safe.
 
Life is a journey, and as we grow older we learn to live with the trauma. However, I hope that we learn to process that trauma and heal.
 
This week, I am joined by Nia Ridgel, Licensed Clinical Therapist and Life Coach, founder, and owner of Ridgle Consulting to explore our journeys with trauma, what holistic health and healing can look like, and how to protect your peace, energy & everything in between.
Stay in Touch with:
↳ Nia Ridgle on LinkedIn
↳ RC Wellness Brand on LinkedIn
 
CLICK TO TAKE THE PODCAST SURVEY
 
Ways to support the show:
   👉🏾  Have you joined the Real Fam yet?
   👉🏾  Buy me Ko-fi ☕️
   👉🏾  Follow us on IG @RTWDPodcast
 
Production & Contact Details:
Producer: Jonathan Dumas (@rtwdpodcast)
Production help: Lindsay Dumas (@lindsaymariedumas)
Music: Tony Deras (@tonesterderas)
Showart: Lia Osley (@liabedrawing)
Email: RTWDPodcast@gmail.com

Yall we are barely about to leave May and I am already emotionally spent on this year.
Uvalde and Buffalo shootings; War in Ukraine; Roe vs. Wade looks like it will be overturned; and, Covid cases are back on the rise and we might see an outbreak of Monkeypox?
With times like these, it is still important to be still. So, I thought it would be good to do a replay of an episode where I lead an intentional breathing exercise to ground us at the moment. It is something I do when I feel like the moment or life is just too much.
I highly encourage you to incorporate some kind of resilience practice into your life.
CLICK TO TAKE THE PODCAST SURVEY
Ways to support the show:
   👉🏾  Have you joined the Real Fam yet?
   👉🏾  Buy me Ko-fi ☕️
   👉🏾  Follow us on IG @RTWDPodcast
 
Production & Contact Details:
Producer: Jonathan Dumas (@rtwdpodcast)
Production help: Lindsay Dumas (@lindsaymariedumas)
Music: Tony Deras (@tonesterderas)
Show art: Lia Osley (@liabedrawing)
Email: RTWDPodcast@gmail.com

This week I am joined by Dr. Lakeya Cherry. Founder, writer, coach, and non-profit executive. We talk about her path to becoming a coach, why entrepreneurship is like hiking, and why validation from others shouldn't be the only reason you step out of your comfort zone.
 
Stay in Touch with:
↳ Contact Lakeya Cherry
 
CLICK TO TAKE THE PODCAST SURVEY
 
Ways to support the show:
   👉🏾  Have you joined the Real Fam yet?
   👉🏾  Buy me Ko-fi ☕️
   👉🏾  Follow us on IG @RTWDPodcast
 
Production & Contact Details:
Producer: Jonathan Dumas (@rtwdpodcast)
Production help: Lindsay Dumas (@lindsaymariedumas)
Music: Tony Deras (@tonesterderas)
Showart: Lia Osley (@liabedrawing)
Email: RTWDPodcast@gmail.com

When is the last time you’ve done a life assessment? If it's been a while or if you’ve never done one, here are 3 good questions Daryl Mobley, author, speaker, and life & executive coach says you can ask yourself to see if someone or something needs to go:
Is this person/thing/job good to me?
Is this person/thing/job good for me?
Is this person/thing/job good with me?
We spend some time talking about how to get laser-focused on getting the most out of life and eliminating the things and people that prevent us from doing our “must-do” list. We also discuss the work the company he co-founded, Catapult Leaders, is doing around getting Black folks hired and why there never has been a pipeline issue. 
 
Stay in Touch with:
↳ Daryl Mobley on LinkedIn
 
CLICK TO TAKE THE PODCAST SURVEY
 
Ways to support the show:
   👉🏾  Have you joined the Real Fam yet?
   👉🏾  Buy me Ko-fi ☕️
   👉🏾  Follow us on IG @RTWDPodcast
Sources for the show:
Racial Attention Deficit study
Production & Contact Details:
Producer: Jonathan Dumas (@rtwdpodcast)
Production help: Lindsay Dumas (@lindsaymariedumas)
Music: Tony Deras (@tonesterderas)
Show art: Lia Osley (@liabedrawing)
Email: RTWDPodcast@gmail.com

Did you know that the largest growing population of vegans and vegetarians in the U.S are Black folks? I did, but I also didn’t. According to a Pew Research Center survey from 2016, 8% of Black Americans are strict vegans or vegetarians, compared to just 3% of the general population.
Did you know that a “food desert” is a ​​geographic area where residents’ access to affordable, healthy food options (especially fresh fruits and vegetables) is restricted or nonexistent due to the absence of grocery stores within convenient traveling distance? 
I had the chance to chop it up with newly published author, Tamara Jenkins about veganism, food deserts, healthy living, and MOST IMPORTANTLY her new book The Sustainable Vegan.
 
Stay in Touch with:
↳ Follow Tamara Jenkins
↳ www.thesustainablevegan.com
 
CLICK TO TAKE THE PODCAST SURVEY
Ways to support the show:
   👉🏾  Have you joined the Real Fam yet?
   👉🏾  Buy me Ko-fi ☕️
   👉🏾  Follow us on IG @RTWDPodcast
 
Folx, events & Orgs mentioned in the episode:
@soheefit
@badassvegan
@iamtabithabrown
Production & Contact Details:
Producer: Jonathan Dumas (@rtwdpodcast)
Production help: Lindsay Dumas (@lindsaymariedumas)
Music: Tony Deras (@tonesterderas)
Showart: Lia Osley (@liabedrawing)
Email: RTWDPodcast@gmail.com

This week, I am joined by Shae Chambers
One of the most energizing storytellers of our day, Shae Chambers is on a mission to help as many people as possible become their best selves while doing their best work. Speaker, coach, and certified human-behavior research specialist.
Shae specializes in helping you with influencing, impacting, and earning a living by understanding yourself and your optimal audience deeply.
 
Stay in Touch with:
↳ Shae on LinkedIn
↳ Contact Shae 📧
 
CLICK TO TAKE THE PODCAST SURVEY
 
Ways to support the show:
   👉🏾  Have you joined the Real Fam yet?
   👉🏾  Buy me Ko-fi ☕️
   👉🏾  Follow us on IG @RTWDPodcast
 
Folx, events & Orgs mentioned in the episode:
Jason Wilson
 
Production & Contact Details:
Producer: Jonathan Dumas 
Production help: Lindsay Dumas (@lindsaymariedumas)
Music: Tony Deras (@tonesterderas)
Show art: Lia Osley (@liabedrawing)
Email: RTWDPodcast@gmail.com

This week, I am joined by Lola Adeyemo
Lola is the founder and CEO of EQImindset (EQI is from Equity and Inclusion). Her work focuses on building inclusion from within corporate organizations primarily at the individual and people manager/team levels. As a certified diversity, equity & inclusion professional, she leverages her experiences as a Scientist and with different Employee Resource Groups (ERG) within different functions to tell stories through speaking. She also designs and facilitates custom workshops and strategy sessions for formal business teams and Informal teams such as Employee Resource Groups (ERGs). 
 
Lola and I spend some time talking about her background as a scientist and how she has transitioned into the work that she is currently doing, how her story as an immigrant informs the work she does with organizations, and her book “Immigrant Women In Corporate America” that is scheduled to drop soon.
Stay in Touch with:
↳ Lola Adeyemo on LinkedIn
↳ Contact EQI Mindset
↳ Contact Lola for Speaking
 
CLICK TO TAKE THE PODCAST SURVEY
 
Ways to support the show:
   👉🏾  Have you joined the Real Fam yet?
   👉🏾  Buy me Ko-fi ☕️
   👉🏾  Follow us on IG @RTWDPodcast
Folx, events & Orgs mentioned in the episode:
Black Speaker Collection
All Things ERG Monthly Virtual Meet-up
Sources for the show:
Lola’s Article 👉🏾 Employee Resource Groups - The People Strategy
Production & Contact Details:
Producer: Jonathan Dumas
Production help: Lindsay Dumas (@lindsaymariedumas)
Music: Tony Deras (@tonesterderas)
Show Art: Lia Osley (@liabedrawing)
Email: RTWDPodcast@gmail.com